My first inkling that the CBS series “Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders” dabbles in geographic bullshit was the network press release last week that touted Wednesday’s episode “Love Interrupted” taking place on the island of Belize.
It seems an American couple honeymooning on this mythical island is abducted and the FBI’s highly specialized foreign troubleshooting and extraction team drives to Ambergris Caye from the International Airport to rescue them.
Yeah, you read that right.
Drives to Ambergris Caye.
They also rent full-size vehicles here and drive past the rolling hills of AC — on superbly paved roads.
One agonized viewer mentioned cannibalism. Anyone know anything about that?
Here’s an unintentionally hilarious recap of the episode. Spoiler alert: Includes Aztec warrior methodologies.
I’ve got to be honest here.
I didn’t watch the episode. We opted to watch the more-reality-based superhero movie “Deadpool” (with Korean subtitles!) under the stars at The Truck Stop. I’m sure I learned more about super heroes watching “Dead Pool” than anyone learned about Belize while watching that “Criminal Minds” thing.
**** **** ****
**** **** ****
That name, by the way — “Criminal Minds” — I’m pretty sure it is has a lot to do with how the show’ perceives its audience’s intelligence.
I think the show is about an elite FBI team that drops into foreign countries and rescues Americans in distress. No, not if you got drunk and ended in jail or lost your credit cards. Big stuff, like hostage situations.
I am also reminded of the recent visit to Ambergris Caye by our beloved American Embassy staff, during which it generously reassured us that there is almost nothing they can do if we get into some sort of trouble. Maybe these FBI guys operate on the QT?
Here are some of the reactions to the “Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders” episode “based” in Belize that I’ve encountered on Facebook this morning:
- “Well shit. Was looking forward to Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders being in Belize. That was sooooo not San Pedro. They could have at least gotten the beach right.”
- “Yep. What a joke!!”
- “Since when are there mountains in San Pedro lol?!?!”
- “Wow, mountains, car rental, nicely paved roads … they seriously did no research! “We need a paramedic”, hahaha”
- “I’d say they were in San Pedro, Cali” This person may be on to something. Another critic thought she saw the Queen Mary in the background and that ship is based in Long Beach, next to San Pedro.
- A more-damning critique: “Oh so wrong!! basement in san pedro with lead pipes…hahaha.. car rentals? creole was pathetic! a tow truck business that picks up scrap metal..really? airport was surely not in belize, and the paved roads with rolling hills in san pedro….omg someone in production and the writers should be very ashamed of themselves for putting together such a farce of a show, the storyline was hard to watch with all the wrong scenery and misinformation being said. If they keep doing this with each location they supposedly go to, this show won’t last!! I see it as trying to put fear into americans to not travel abroad. I sure hope this does not scare the tourists away from Belize. so much of this show was unreal it’s maddening!”