I have to walk into my local supermarket in San Pedro, Belize, to find the answer to a question that is tearing up my friends back in San Diego: Will the Chargers be moving to Los Angeles?
And there it was, the answer. Right in the dairy section.
Yogurt containers were screaming it out to me:”L.A.! L.A.!” — or, more like “LALA” — but you can see where this is headed.
Yogurt never lies.
The dairy section also confirmed the long-standing rumor that the Oakland Raiders will also moving back to Los Angeles and that the Raiders and Chargers will indeed be sharing a shelf . . . erm . . . a stadium.
Further, the expiration date on these containers is Feb. 16, 2016. I can only say, watch for a significant announcement on that day from the NFL.
Why is there a San Francisco 49ers yogurt container lurking on the edge of this oracle? I can only surmise that it is San Francisco’s compulsive need to be at the center of every discussion in California, whether its presence is relevant or not.
You can almost see the 49ers yogurt container with its flashy gold label screaming “Me! Me! This is a story about me!”
It isn’t 49ers Yogurt, so shut up.
Just the same. I bought the 49ers container.
Because I love my wife and she is a native San Franciscan and she loves the 49ers. (I’m not a complete fool.)
You may notice that the 49ers container is sweetened yogurt, which we never buy. But there is no way in hell that anything with a Raiders emblem on it is coming into my house — even if it is a container full of sugar-free yogurt.
I know what your are thinking right now: Why is the Chargers container full of PEACH yogurt?
I can only say this: Did you watch them play this year?
Have fun in LALA, Chargers.
Shut up, 49ers. No one is talking to you.